Does change happen to you or through you? Your answer makes a huge difference in how you experience both big and small changes in your life.
If your mindset is change happens to you, you’re in trouble. You’re stuck. This mindset implies you’re like a sponge that can only soak up whatever change dishes out. It’s like change enters your life, and somehow, in that moment, your life is no longer yours. You’re the pawn, change is the King. And Queen. You are small. Change is big.
With that mindset, most change becomes what I call “Big C Change,” an uncontrollable force or phenomenon that just happens. And there is nothing much you can do about it.
It’s a victim mindset. It makes you feel helpless and vulnerable.
There is an alternative mindset. One that reverses the power structure. One that turns the relationship between you and change upside down. A mindset that puts you back in control.
Try this on for size. Say it out loud. (Go ahead, feel foolish, and say it aloud): “Change happens through me, not to me.” Say it again: “Change happens through me, not to me.” Once more, but emphasize “through me.”
“Change happens through me.”
Feel the difference? This mindset- change happens through me- implies you are the active agent. It implies you are the uncontrollable force. It implies change cannot dictate how you experience your life. You are the King and the Queen. Change is the pawn.
Have you heard the anonymous quote from a cancer patient- “I have cancer, but cancer doesn’t have me”? That’s the mindset we’re talking about.
A mindset that turns all change into “little c change,” or change that is not too big for you to handle. A mindset that says I might not choose change, but I will always choose my response to change.
Are you willing to think about change in a way that puts you back in control? Give it a try and let me know what you think.